About Pre-marital Sex

Just came across this article on how pre-marital sex makes you cerebrally bond with those not necessarily meant for you. This is an occurrence we should see as obvious, yet it’s interesting to know the science behind it. This may come in handy for me as I’ve just taken over the teen Sunday school class at church and of course sex and relationships are an important topic to address at this age. Lack of understanding has led many young people over the years to jeopardize their spiritual lives as they allow themselves to be drawn away by relationships outside of the best that God’s wants for them…

Article from www.christianpost.com, May 30th 2013

How Premarital Sex Rewires Your Brain, Affects Your Chances of Finding Life Mate

Dopamine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin are three powerful and important products released during sex between a man and a woman in a committed relationship and helps couples bond. When they are introduced in casual sexual relationships, however, they can cause much trouble.

Working together, the two hormones and one chemical produced by the human body during sex helps to bond a man and a woman together for long-term relationship.

"When someone is involved sexually it makes them want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of Dopamine – a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When Dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember," notes a Conquer Series report.

Oxytocin, a hormone produced primarily in women's bodies, helps women become bonded to the object of her affection. "When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of Oxytocin, which bonds her to her child. For this reason mothers will die for their child, because they've become emotionally bonded due to the Oxytocin that is released when they're skin-to-skin with their child," explains the report.

So when a woman becomes intimate with a man, her body also releases Oxytocin and she becomes emotionally bonded to him. "Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who's abusing her? We know now, it's because she bonds to him emotionally, because of the Oxytocin release during sex," the report said.

Also referred to as the "monogamy hormone," men produce Vasopressin which serves the same purpose as Oxytocin. "It bonds a man to a woman," according to the report.

But while these "bonding" agents are great for marriage relationships, they don't work so well for dating relationships because "you lose your objectivity when you're searching for your potential life mate."

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings in the Conquer Series report: "When you have premarital sex, your reward circuitry is bonded to them now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Oftentimes, in breakups of people who've been sexually active, they can't tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they're impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on."

"Knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain help us understand why sex is meant [to be kept] within the boundaries of marriage," the reported noted.

"You see the overtones here about God's design for His pure temple. This is another reason why the devil attacks our sexuality so much because in attacking human sexuality, it actually interferes with human bonding. So, for those practicing sex outside of marriage, they are creating a bond with their partner, thus inhibiting their discernment whether they should remain in that relationship. God wired and designed our brains for a specific purpose: to bond ourselves with the person we marry."

In sickness and in health...

 

     Random thought sharing...

I remember watching a documentary about people in the UK living with HIV/ aids. There was a couple who were together, despite the woman knowing that the man was HIV positive (contracted before he met her) (actually it may be the other way round; I can’t remember exactly if it was the woman or the man who was infected.) The couple was committed to one another and the non-infected one took the decision to have a sexual relationship with their spouse, without contraception. They wanted to have children together, knowing there is a drug that, if taken by the mother, would allow them to birth a perfectly healthy child in their future. The uninfected spouse did indeed become infected, but had no regrets.

Though some may question the wisdom of the one who started in health risking it for their other half – surely you can admire the love and commitment they feel toward the partner to put themselves in such a position. Especially in a day and age where true love and lifelong male-female commitment is becoming a dying myth.

Some say a similar picture is painted in Adam’s love for Eve. He was well aware he would die if he ate of the fruit, but loved her so much he ate it anyway, to remain with her. I don’t know about that exactly, but it’s an interesting thought.

And in this world full of so much to discourage, thank God that there are always people –even in dire situations- who exalt an exemplary love.

You’re Loved Regardless. Poem

When you’ve felt rejected

By this world which can seem so cruel and heartless

Remember, in my heart you’re always accepted

I will love you regardless.

When you slip, and fall, and turn around

And fear the faces of those who saw your disgrace

You’ll see my arms coming to hold you as you’re on the ground

And lift you back to your rightful place.

‘Sticks and stones will break your bones…’

Though don’t tell me words are always harmless.

And when they try

To hurt you with words like knives, and lies,

Keep your head high

-You’re loved regardless.

When you’re overwhelmed by this world’s pressures

And it’s ever changing exactions of ‘perfection’

Even though you are exquisitely precious

You might forget your value.

You need someone to remind you how wholly you’re loved…

I’ll be the one to tell you.

...................................................................................

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

Reach for me. Poem

I watched you today. In my house.

You sat forlorn and broken.

Far from the sounds of the joy around

And all the words being spoken.

You arms were crossed

Your heart was covered

With them like a veil of flesh

I earnestly wanted to whisper to you

Hold you

Love away all your mess

But you were closed off from all I had for you

Tuned out like a broken resistor

I even sent a word just for you

But you were so lost in your pity, you missed them.

And as you mourned for yourself

And your life’s plans

How ‘nothing’ is going your way

I was waiting for you to speak to me

So I could comfort you in some way

But you sat in my house, and refused to reach out

For my hand as it brushed by

Not feeling my warmth, just nothing at all

And you seemed to be wondering why

Relationship is a two-way treasure

And I’ve done all I can do

I’ve loved you with a love that kills me, seeing you so far.

The rest is up to you.

#“Reach out to me”

Nehemiah 1:9  But if ye turn unto me, and keep my commandments, and do them; though there were of you cast out unto the uttermost part of the heaven, yet will I gather them from thence, and will bring them unto the place that I have chosen to set my name there.

Malachi 3:7 Even from the days of your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them. Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the LORD of hosts. But ye said, Wherein shall we return?